Do You Eve?

EVE's Quote of the Week. "Matt: Why Buddy? Mavis: Because he's kind. Matt: Are the other men unkind?" From Young Adult - the movie

I was excited to see this movie, and it moved me more than I thought it would. Mavis (Charlize Theron) leads an uncomplicated, almost boring life as an unfulfilled thirty-something ghost writer, whom others envy with a passion, unbeknownst to her. Meanwhile, she is rapidly giving in to self-diagnosed and painfully obvious depression and alcoholism, wishing for what could have been and drowning the remnants of the dreams of her youth, attempting to revive one of them with a now happily married high school sweetheart, named Buddy. While Mavis' dilemma is misunderstood by many, including her parents, Matt (masterfully played by Patton Oswaltt), crippled in his teens by a misdirected gay hate crime, is the one who can see, feel, and almost taste her pain and path to self-destruction. We and Matt examine her journey on a roller coaster of emotions, which takes her from looking great and caring about her appearance to looking frumpy and pathetic to pulling her hair.

Mavis' disappointment in men, marriage, carreer, material goods, and life in general, is palpable. Buddy represents the missed chance of what she thinks would have been a happy life. And all the while, we're looking at her batting eyelashes, and we're desparately trying to figure out what she really sees in him, as he is especially to us, although undoubtfully kind-hearted, a very average-looking, shallow and simplistic character, who in-turn is puzzled by the attention and intensity suddenly bestowed upon him by this perpetually stunningly beautiful old flame. The name of Buddy is very fitting, as this is what Mavis is lacking in her life, a real buddy, a kind, understanding partner who will give a damn about her no matter what. She is longing for this kind of closeness and unwillingly is nearing its likeness in her carefree relationship with Matt.

Following an unfortunate scene, when Mavis is provoked by an accidental spill of red wine on her silk blouse by the clumsy wife, which triggers her bearing of her soul in front of practically everyone who knew her, she suddenly decides to change and embarks on a hopefully brighter path, surprisingly illuminated by Sandra, the mousy sister of Matt's whose Mavis has been an idol of since high school, Mavis seems to finally realize that what really makes her happy is not in her small home town. After witnessing the first spontaneousshow of affection towards her dog, we watch in awe, as she proceeds to inspect the damage previously done to her car by her own drunken-daze doing, which brings her back to reality and puts her on the drive home and unblocks her writing on the way back to the big city.

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Do you love or hate Oprah? I met her once..

Regardless of where you are on this continuum, Oprah's imminent departure from weekly main stream media is going to be a big jolt not only to her undying followers but to TV entertainment viewers everywhere.  I think Oprah's success is in her openess to speak about just about anything and with just about anybody but keeping it really interesting, fresh, cool, and trendy at all times.  She also has an ingenuity about her.  I remember watching her (yes, I watched Oprah on more than one occasion) reminisce about the Michael Jackson interview.  She spoke about being really nervous and had to get up her nerve to be original at the same time.  From seeing her demeneor in the interview, it was clear that she conquered her nervousness and her questions were brilliant.  No matter what anyone says, she is the ultimate interviewer.  I think the key is that she genuinely cares about the answer, and it shows.

I am quite sure many out there are a bit or a lot sick of all the accolades she has been receiving and may find it a little or incredibly self-serving.  I say if people feel she helped them, and I know she has, she deserves to orchestrate her departure in her own way, which is anabashedly grand.  I remember watching Oprah shows that inspired me to take action in order to better my own life and for that I am greatful.  I also had the pleasure of meeting her very briefly once, when I was able to tag along on a fine antique delivery to her beautiful estate in Montecito, CA.  She was very low-key, pleasant and anassuming, just like I imagined she would be.  In today's world quality television is harder to find, and she provided lots of it to an audience who truly loved her dearly.

I don't know about you but I don't think OWN is going to truly "own up" to what Oprah has built so far.  It is a very difficult undertaking.  It will be interesting to see if anyone will attempt to take her spot in any way, shape or form though.  I wonder if Katie Couric has her eyes set on something of the sort, as she is leaving CBS Evening News.. Who knows?  Katie does have the approachable personality and intelligence to run her own show, no problem.  I would love to see what she does with that.  I will also follow Oprah, yes I will be curious to see what her next great adventure will be.

For now, so long, farewell, till we see you again, Oprah, and best of luck in the future, however you decide to direct it.

Find your passion at http://www.DoYouEVEInstitute.com

 

Do You want to find your passion?

Have you ever thought about what you would really like to do?

Here's one success story.. http://tinyurl.com/3jau6sm

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It's a New Tradition: Eve's Giveaway Fridays...

When was the last time you got something for free that could enrich your life? Perhaps you got that gift card for your birthday, and you ran out to buy a new pair of shoes. I have nothing against shoes. In fact, I think shoe shopping should make its way into cognitive and behavioral therapy. When we get in a mood, and a new pair of shoes makes us smile, that's great. After all shoes are great because our shoe size rarely changes, only maybe after giving birth, so there is really nothing depressing about it. Just pure bliss of feeling like we look brand new, so great, comfortable or not but we feel great. After the initial excitement of wearing that new perfect pair wears off, and we take them off to toss them aside because after all they were not the most comfortable, and we don't quite know what we were thinking getting them. Weren't they overpriced? Are we going to wear them again? Are they going to be added to the fashion mistake pile? Who knows.. The point is that not much will be carried forward from that experience.

The good news is tomorrow is Friday. And what that means is that we're going to be giving away free stuff. For a chance to be Entered to win a free ticket ($129 value) to the Signature Career Bootcamp from Do You Eve? Institute (http://www.DoYouEveInstitute.com), or gift card to either Macy's, Barnes & Noble or Best Buy, all you have to do is join Do You EVE? Tomorrow Friday May 20th, 2011 and post a few words about what and who, you feel enriches your life and why. It's free to join!

Enjoy your Friday tomorrow!

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Her T-shirt said "I love (heart) my job," so I asked her..

I saw a young lady at the gym the other day, who was probably in her mid-twenties, and her T-shirt said "I love (heart) my job," so I felt compelled to ask her what she did for a living. At first she was startled a bit, and then her face was illuminated by a huge smile, and as her eyes sparkled like dancing fireflies on a summer night, she said "Oh yes, I'm a Mom; I love my kids!"
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Exhale and smile, you're still here

Some days, some weeks, some months, some years, we have to wait and wait to really exhale.  Today was a day, I could exhale after quite some time, although I am not talking about romance here, like the movie.. The stars aligned just right, and I could put words on paper eloquently.  I could watch my fingers touch the keyboard and the letters, words, and sentences appear magically.  What a gift, I thought, we humans have to be able to translate our feelings into words.  Especially in this season of giving thanks and giving gifts, what does it mean to give, really give?, I thought.  Then I realized that true giving is when we give ourselves, our energy, our love, our time, our devotion.  However, what occured to me is that when we give of ourselves, we have to guard the fragile core that makes up who we are, the uniqueness, the only thing that's special about us and what we contribute to the world. Carefully balancing the giving to others and giving to our core is what keeps us going in any difficult circumstances.

In the last couple of months, I have truly learned a new appreciation for caregiving.  I have had someone close to me depend on me for a lot of help, physically and emotionally, in every possible way.  I have had very little time to consider my own life, as most everything evolved around the caregiving.  The satisfaction caregiving brings is boundless, yet it can be gruelling and unforgiving and just never ending. I have always admired caregivers but now I have a deeper understanding of what it involves.  Especially, when you have someone who has been very independent in their own life before the life-changing occurrence.  The dynamics of the person going through their own frustrations of not being able to do the simplest thing by themselves is the new reality you now both face. The nice thing is that we both found a good place to be now in the recovery process that will help us manage the challenges thrown upon us better, as we both learned how and when to give and take a break, whenever possible.

My caregiving for this person will go on for as long as I am able to do it, as this person is very special to me and has given me so much. This person is my mother.

Eat, Pray, Love is a Winner

I am going to get the book today. The film is inspirational, moving, and refreshing all at the same time, infused with soulful performances by Julia Roberts, Richard Jenkins, Javier Bardem, and other wonderful cast members. It is an experience to be remembered. I have seen it twice, I confess with pleasure. Each time, I take away more. . . If you have seen the movie or read the book already, this next thought will make sense to you. I think my word is "journey" becasue to me life is about our experiences along the way and not so much about the ultimate destination. The journey represents the present to me, whereas destination is implying the future, for which we can only plan but of which, we cannot be certain.

2010 is Up in the Air-movie review and more. .

Have you ever had that "now what?" feeling on the airplane when it it takes off and you know you're airborne. "Now I cannot do a thing about it. I'm in the air, and I will be until we land." This is the feeling I get usually when the new year starts. Yes, for better or worse, we are now in the new year. I,for one, am completely glad that we are at last on the new continuum. This last year was full of menacing things that kept going on in my life and those I care about, so I am glad we are now upon a new beginning. I frankly could not wait for the old year to end. In around September, I was already anticipating the holiday season and was ready for home cooking, getting together with friends and family, decorating and even enjoying a walk in the rain and bundling up for the cold weather. By cold, I mean the temperatures in the forties and fifties, maybe thirties, as here in The San Francisco Bay Area it does not usually get much colder. However, about a month ago, we did experience a somewhat miraculous incident with snow falling on the surrounding mountains and in cities nearby, although not quite in our back yard.

Last night, I took my Mom to see the new  George Clooney flick "Up in the Air," and I found George thoroughly engaging in it. However, besides watching George, which is always a pleasant affair, I liked the title of the film immensely, as it implied intentionally or not more than just his character's frequent physical state of being, given his dirty profession of all-over-America pink slip handler. I found Ryan Bingham a very fitting name for this guy. Based on Walter Kirn's novel by the same title, the movie sort of runs like a novel, and regrettably not having read the original, I do not have a means of comparing the two. Ryan seems to be "up in the air" with not only his professional obligations but also in his personal relationships and plans for the future.

Those whose lives he touches through his trade, are also very much "up in the air" after learning that what they have known for the most part in their careers is now over, and now they are going to be in the driver's seats of their own futures. I remembered my own experience with a layoff in 2001, when the company I worked for merged with another and my position was eliminated. Although the effects of the layoff itself were negative initially and took a larger toll than I would have expected for quite some time both financially and psychologically, they also pushed me into analyzing priorities in my life. I was armed with newly found strength, spent more time with my husband and children, cooked, got to know my neighbors and the town I had been living in for five years but hardly explored before, and embarked on new career paths, not without challenges, but always with satisfaction of new accomplishments. After a while, I also stopped regretting having had turned down a great offer that had come about four months prior to the merger, having accepted that what had happened had its own purpose on enriching and improving my life.

Natalie (Anna Kendrick,) Bingham's newly acquired fresh Ivy League college graduate apprentice finds herself "up in the air" with her life's personal and career choices at one time or another. 

Alex, the woman of the moment in Ryan's life, played beautifully by Vera Farmiga, also is "up in the air" with what she is up to, as we know very little about her for the good part of the film.

Although the script went on several interesting tangents, I felt they were not explored to the fullest, and without giving much away, in case you want to see the movie, the ending was one that surprised me. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, not a typical Hollywood ending by any means, but something different maybe than what it was.

A girl with an upside down smile

Sometimes, I am not sure if observing people with a permeating eye of a writing soul is a blessing or a curse.

Speaking of blessings, yesterday at church, I observed a mother with two children, both girls, who sat in a pew in front of my mother and me. The mother was holding a baby who was between 12 and 18 months of age and kept her pretty much engaged the entire time, with the exception of her giving quick instructions in Spanish to her remaining 3-4 year old daughter to tell her to take out a drawing book out of her pink backpack.

The girl turned to face us and with an upside down smile on her face began studying my mother and me from head to toe with her huge brown beautiful eyes, curtained by thick long matching eyelashes. She did everything with much intensity but was being extra careful not to disturb her mother, the baby, us, nor the people sitting next to them.

Hoping to get a smile, we smiled at her and nodded to let her know she was being extremely good but to no avail. The girl kept staring at us cautiously not giving any indication that she could possibly smile at any given moment. "What would it take?" I thought. I was determined to make this child smile, here, today, right now, just because she deserved it so much. She deserved a moment of happiness, carefree existence, free from the responsibility of being the big sister, of having to be mature beyond her years.

I don't mean to say that I agree with lack of parenting, we so often see nowadays, with children misbehaving and discipline not even entering the most basic stages of what used to be the social norm but this was different. I kept looking at her with a warm smile just paying attention to what she was doing without judgment in my gaze or any indication of disapproval. She dug into her pink backpack and quickly pulled out a piece of paper that looked like a photograph. She put it down on the bench and quickly looked up to see my reaction. The photo depicted two puppies, one black and one brown snuggled together. I smiled from ear to ear and she gave me a really quick smile but she wasn't finished. She shuffled in her backpack and proceeded to pull out another piece of paper, depicting another picture of a puppy, which made me smile even wider and bump my Mom's elbow to take a look which caused us both to show our appreciation for such a wonderful sight. This time, when the little girl looked up at us, she had a beautiful smile on her face, and from then on, every time she gazed at me, she smiled and her eyes sparkled. I sighed a sigh of relief and knew this little girl just had a moment she had been hoping for who knows for how long. It's such a shame her mother completely missed it, fussing over the baby. This is a moment, one day, she will wish she hadn't missed like many more she probably already has. Amazingly, at the end of the service, the mother told the girl (I understand a little Spanish) to pick up her things, and she did so, once again, with precision of someone much older. Before they rushed off prior to the final blessing, the girl shared a moment with another youngster who sat in front of her, wearing a red velvet hat, to whom she offered a page from her coloring book. The other girl took it and kept herself occupied with it, to her parents delight, for the rest of the time. Unfortunately, the mother of our girl, missed that one too.

The magic of the ocean - Carmel

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